I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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