Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
