??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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