Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
