If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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