I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
