i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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