You can't motorboat a personality
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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