marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
