kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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