I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
