wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my sisters under your porch take her home
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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