remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
