So drunk its hurt
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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