he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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