So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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