She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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