im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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