so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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