I want to make a zoo with you.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
