reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
