so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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