All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
