Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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