You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
