somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
