I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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