i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
