Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
