its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
