The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We left the knife in your bed.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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