I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
