guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
