life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
