i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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