He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Shame - the story of my life.
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