Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize