So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
