I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
