Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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