You work out of a Hotel?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Come share oat with me in your robe
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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