Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
third nipple confirmed
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
