I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
