this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
