Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
just tell him i said nine months
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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