Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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