Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
