You're completely useless in the revolution.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
