he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
