I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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