So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
