Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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