I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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