she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
