i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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