I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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