The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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