Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
