yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
