i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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