The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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