When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
