butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
