Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
