We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
