Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
