he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize