YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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