i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
