Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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