Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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