are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
